Coping if your ovarian cancer can't be cured

The news that your doctor can’t cure you can be very hard for everyone. There is support available to help you cope with your emotions and any physical symptoms you have. 

Your outlook

Many people want to know what the outlook is and how their cancer will develop. This is different for each person. Your doctor is the best person to discuss this with you because they have all the information about your cancer.

Your specialist will tell you how advanced your cancer is (the stage). Advanced cancer means cancer that has spread outside the ovary. It might have spread within the pelvis or abdomen, or to other parts of the body such as the lungs. You might have advanced cancer at diagnosis. Or the cancer may have come back after previous treatment.

Sometimes it is possible to cure cancer that is advanced at diagnosis. But this isn’t usually the case. It depends partly on the exact stage of your ovarian cancer. And also on what treatment you can have, and how well the treatment works.

Unfortunately, cancers that have come back can’t usually be cured. But treatment can often control the cancer and relieve symptoms. This can be for many months and sometimes years, depending on your situation.

How long will I live?

Not everyone wants to ask about this. But do ask your specialist doctor if you feel you need to. 

Your doctor won’t be able to give you an exact answer. But they might be able to give you an estimated time, based on their experience of looking after people with ovarian cancer. Everyone is different and no one can say exactly how long you will live.

For ovarian cancer, it will depend on many factors. These include:

• what treatment you’ve already had 
• what treatment you can have now 
• how well your treatment works
• your general health and level of fitness

Treatment can sometimes control the cancer and relieve symptoms for many months and years. But it might be a shorter time if you are very unwell, or you can’t have further treatment. 

You could find it extremely difficult if your doctors tell you that you only have a very short time left. You might have to make some serious decisions based on this information.

How you might feel

Finding out that you can’t be cured is distressing and can be a shock. It’s common to feel uncertain and anxious. It's normal to not be able to think about anything else.

Lots of information and support is available to you, your family and friends. Some people find it helpful to find out more about their cancer and the treatments they might have. Many people find that knowing more about their situation can make it easier to cope.

Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to understand:

• what your diagnosis means

• what is likely to happen

• what treatment is available

• how treatment can help you

• what the side effects of the treatment are

You might feel that you don’t want to know much information straight away. Tell your doctor or nurse. You will always be able to ask for more information when you are ready.

Everyone is different and there is no right way to feel.

Planning

Thinking about your priorities and planning what you want to do can help you to feel more in control. You might want to talk about how you want to spend your time and what is and isn’t important to you.

Some of your future plans might no longer be realistic. But you might get round to doing something you always wanted to do but weren’t able to make time for.

You can talk to your doctor about managing your treatment around your plans. Or if you can have your treatment at the same time. Your specialist nurse will be able to support you and help you arrange this.

Physical symptoms

Advanced cancer and its treatment can cause physical symptoms. These can be difficult to cope with.

Treatments such as chemotherapy, radiotherapy or targeted therapy aim to:

• shrink the cancer and control it for as long as possible
• reduce symptoms
• help you feel better

It is important that you feel as well as you possibly can. Tell your healthcare team about any symptoms you have so they can help to control them.

Symptom control team

There are symptom control teams in most cancer units. They can help you to stay as well as possible for as long as possible. They are also in hospices and many general hospitals.

Most symptom control teams have home care services so they can visit you at home.

Talking about advanced cancer

Talking to your friends and relatives about your cancer can help and support you. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up and won’t want to talk. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation or be afraid they will say the wrong thing.

It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you and them.

Help your family and friends by letting them know if you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.

You might find it easier to talk to someone outside your own friends and family. We have cancer information nurses you can call on freephone 0808 800 4040, from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Or you may prefer to see a counsellor.

Coping financially

You might have extra expenses due to the cancer. Your specialist nurse or GP can help you get grants for heating costs, holidays or household expenses related to your illness.

Ask to see a social worker. They can let you know which benefits or grants you can claim and help with the claiming process.  

Who can help?

You can get emotional and practical support through your hospital, local hospice and GP surgery. You can also get help from charities and support groups.

Towards the end of life

It’s natural to want to find out what is likely to happen in the last few weeks or days of life.

You might need to choose where you want to be looked after and who you want to care for you.