Taking care of yourself

Supporting and helping someone with cancer can be rewarding and challenging. But it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself. By taking time to look after yourself both physically and emotionally it will help you both. 

Dealing with your feelings

It can be difficult and upsetting to see the person you care about crying and distressed. Remember that this can be an important release for them. 

Get some support and help for yourself if you are finding it hard to cope with the diagnosis. You might be experiencing a range of different emotions. Some people might feel guilty for being healthy. 

You may find it helpful to talk to a family member or friend. There are also people and organisations who can help if these feelings are overwhelming for you.

You might find our online forum useful where you can chat with people in a similar situation. 

You could look for a support group in your local area. Or ask your GP to refer you for some counselling. If you are a member of a religious group you could get support from them. 

Being a carer

Caring for someone is extremely physically and emotionally tiring especially when they are a loved one. It will help you both if you look after yourself. 

Tips for looking after yourself

• Eat well – try to eat healthily and have regular meals.
• Be active – this could be a short walk or more structured exercise, it is good for both your physical and emotional wellbeing.
• Get enough sleep – this can be difficult if you are worrying, talk to your doctor about it if it is a problem.
• Talk to other friends or family about how you’re feeling, sharing your feelings can help you in the same way it can help the person with cancer.
• Take breaks – when you’re caring for someone especially someone you love it is extremely tiring, you’ll be able to cope better if you do have breaks.

Breaks for carers

A respite break (sometimes called ‘respite’) is a temporary break from caring, when someone else looks after the person with cancer. This might be in their home, or they might go to a care home or a hospice.

How long the respite break is will depend on your situation and the services available in your area. The types of respite available can include:

• day centres or hospices where the person with cancer can attend for the day
• a short stay in a care home or hospice
• overnight care from a Marie Curie nurse

Your GP or local social services can tell you what help might be available in your area. 

Getting support

When you’re looking after someone with cancer you might have extra needs such as financial or physical ones. 

Perhaps you have had to give up work to care for someone or maybe you need a break from caring as things are getting too much. Whatever your situation, there is support available.

The following organisations can provide help for carers.