Getting help and support when you are dying
Emotional and practical support can be a great help to you and your carers when you are dying.
Asking for help
Some people find it hard to ask for help. You might worry about bothering people or feel that you should be able to cope alone.
It can also be difficult to know where to find the support you and your carers need. But the right kind of support can make things easier for you. So do ask what help is available.
GP and nursing support
Your GP will help with any medical problems that come up. They can also make referrals to nursing services for you. This includes:
- district nurses
- community specialist palliative care nurses
- Marie Curie nurses
District nurses
District nurses can give nursing care and advice. They can also get you special equipment to help you with home nursing (for example, a commode or bedpan).
Community specialist palliative care nurses
Community specialist palliative care nurses advise on pain control, sickness, and other cancer symptoms. These are, for example, Macmillan nurses or hospice nurses.
They also give emotional support to both you and your carers.
Marie Curie nurses
Marie Curie nurses give nursing care to people in their own homes. They can visit you during the day or spend the night to give your carer a break.
Social workers
For other types of help, it is a good idea to talk to a social worker.
You can find them through social services or the cancer unit where you or your relative is treated. Many hospices employ social workers who offer a range of services. They specialise in helping people near the end of their lives.
A social worker can arrange:
- home helps for shopping or housework
- home care assistants for washing and dressing
- meals on wheels
- respite care
Your social worker can also help you with money matters, by checking you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to. Or they can arrange charity grants for things like extra heating costs or special diets.
They might also offer counselling and advice about any practical issues you are dealing with.
Breaks for carers and respite care
Sometimes your family or carers might need a break. Taking a break from caring gives the person who is doing the caring some time to rest. This stops them from becoming exhausted and run down.
Respite care means the carer takes a break, while the person you care for is looked after by someone else.
There are different types of respite care. Some organisations have volunteers who will come and sit with the person you look after for a few hours. The person you look after could go to a day care centre. Or, a paid carer could visit them at their home to look after them. Care homes can also offer a short stay in a care home.
Some hospices may have day care facilities or offer respite care. But not all hospices offer this. Speak to the GP, specialist nurse or social worker to find out what is available in your area. Or ask at your local carers centre or at your local council.
Carers can sometimes be reluctant to take much needed breaks. It can help to remind them that having a short break will help them to keep going and give them more energy in the long run.
Who else can help
There are many other sorts of help. What is available varies from place to place.
Sometimes local voluntary groups offer sitting services (someone to come in and stay with your relative while you go out). There might be good neighbour schemes that offer befriending or practical help with shopping or transport.
Many support groups offer practical help and are also a good source of information about local services.
Ask your doctor or nurse about support services and groups in your area
